Pamela D. "Pam" Lowder

Pam Lowder, 69, of Topeka passed away Thursday, October 2, 2025. She was born Pamela Denise Rookstool on November 30, 1955 in North Platte, Nebraska, the daughter of Hubert “HT” and Mae (Coffman) Rookstool, the youngest of six children.

Pam was raised in Nebraska and Kansas; she attended Topeka West High School. She worked outside the home in various family businesses and spent many years in the hospitality industry as a waitress, bartender, and was owner of the Park Inn Tavern for a few years.

Pam was married to Raymond “Ray” Lowder. They met when they were teenagers and they spent the next 40 years together raising their four children and spending time with grandkids. He preceded her in death on July 6, 2014.

Pam followed in her mother’s footsteps and became a second mom to many and she was everyone’s Gramma. Anyone who became a part of Pam’s life stayed a part of her family. Pam was a caring person who always showed great love and concern for those in her life. She was steadfast in her beliefs and honest to the core. She helped her loved ones in any way she could even if it meant she sacrificed her time or part of herself. She also wasn’t afraid to tell it like she saw it. She loved to spend time with her grandkids and doing things for them. She was always finding the perfect gift she thought they would enjoy or “get a kick out of” as she would say. She liked being by the water and if it was sunny and warm she would be outside tending to her plants and flowers. Listening to music was cathartic for her and she loved listening to live local bands. She liked to watch the Chiefs football and KU basketball.

She will be greatly missed by her children Heather Lowder, Karlee Bocquin and husband Gabe, Ashley Lowder, all of Topeka, and Nate Lowder of Gardner. Her loving heart also lives on in her grandkids Dylan, Elijah, Bronsen, Hendrix, Rayce, Tyler, Zoe, Charles (Mckenna), Ash, Dakota, Beckham, Jameson, Maverick, Trent, Gavan, and great-grandkids Theo, Clara, MayCee, Tre, Jordan, and Alice. Pam is also survived by her siblings Meryce Clemmons, Una VonBehren (Ron), Kent Rookstool, and Chuck Rookstool, sister-in-law Barb Pittenger (Steve), and honorary brother/family friend Brad Horwitz. Other survivors include many nieces, nephews, extended family, bonus family members, and friends.

Pam was proceeded in death by her parents Mae and Hubert, her husband Ray, her brother Ted Rookstool, nephew Dusty Rookstool, mother-in-law Theresa Phipps, and brother-in-law Bruce Clemmons.

Pam’s children would like to express their sincere gratitude to everyone for their love and support. Please keep their family, especially the grandkids, in your thoughts at this time.

Private inurnment will take place at a later date. The family will be hosting a remembrance party and encourage family and close friends to reach out for details.

Dove Southeast Chapel, 2843 SE Minnesota Ave. is assisting the family with service arrangements.

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