Sandra Kay Kirk

Sandra Kay (Sandy) Kirk left this world behind on Thursday, November 27, 2025.

Grieving her absence are daughters Kim Polson, and her husband Aaron, and Donna Swaffar, and her husband Steve; grandchildren Elizabeth, Bretton and Caroline Scarbrough; Owen, Max and Elliot Polson; and Tyler and Nathan Swaffar. She is also missed by sister-in-law Carol Crandall, nieces Alison Watkins and Tiana Crandall-Aoun (Baha), and nephews Aaron Watkins (Dawna) and Joshua Crandall (Lacey) and their families.

Preceding her in death were her husband of 58 years Gary, her parents, older sister Barbara Watkins, and brother-in-law Robert Crandall.

Sandra Kay Gowan was born in Ames, Iowa, to Arthur and Marjorie (Mace) Gowan Jan. 17, 1943.

She graduated from Ames High School and Iowa State University. She was a sister of Gamma Phi Beta sorority. She married Gary Kirk on May 30, 1965, in Ames. In the years that followed, she spent time being a teacher (short-lived because in the 60s pregnant teachers weren’t a thing), a full-time mother, a real estate agent, and a mortgage loan processor. She also enjoyed a stint as a Topeka Chamber of Commerce Ambassador–red jacket and all.

She spent many summers in the softball bleachers or at the scorer’s table at Ken Berry. She volunteered often for Alex’s Lemonade Stand and Festival of Trees, and she was the coordinator of the local Christmas Bureau for a year in the 1980s. She was known to enjoy bridge and bunko. She was Mom Kirk to a plethora of Donna and Kim’s friends.

But more people probably know her helpful smile at HyVee from its opening in Topeka until an as-yet undiagnosed gastric cancer sapped her energy to do the job she loved so very much. Many of the families she met there received her signature homemade I Spy quilt or fleece baby blankets when a new addition arrived. She eagerly awaited the chance to host the veterans at breakfast each year and to stand beside her favorite Santa Ken to welcome Christmas to HyVee as Mrs. Claus.

She was caregiver and truest life partner to husband Gary in his quiet struggle with Parkinson’s for nearly a decade. She made sure all her friends on Facebook knew exactly when the Royals, Cyclones, Jayhawks and Wildcats were playing and what channel to watch. She was particularly peeved about the whole ESPN+ thing. You were guaranteed a conversation with Sandy if you crossed her path wearing Iowa State gear.

She was a doting grandma to her own brood and to pretty much every kid she ever met, especially the ones in her neighborhood. She reveled in her grandkids as tots and beamed about them as they grew and shared their talents with the world.

She was a friend and neighbor whose kindness circled back to her often in the final months of her life.

The energy that animated Sandy has departed for parts unknown. But she left deposits in her kids and their families, her nieces and nephews and in-laws. She leaves a legacy of thoughtfulness and good deeds with her real estate and loan customers, and especially her coworkers and customer families at HyVee. She absolutely was the “helpful smile in every aisle.” Thank you to all the young HyVee employees who let her mother them and to her littlest customers for giving constant grandkid energy. You all were a great source of peace and joy, especially while she cared for our dad on his long Parkinson’s journey.

Thank you to the Midland Hospice professionals who helped her spend all but the last 6 days of her life safely in her own home. Thank you so much to the staff and volunteers of Midland Hospice House for being the calm in the storm of an expected yet somehow unpredictable final chapter. Thank you to Mark Reinert and his team for their genuine caring and tireless assistance.

No immediate service or celebration of life is planned. Sandy’s family will take some time to grieve their third great loss in less than two years, but will find a way to honor the gifts she left in this world.

If you are so inclined, memorial contributions can be sent to Community Children’s Center in Lawrence, or United Way of Kaw Valley. And of course, everyday kindness is always in fashion, incredibly affordable, and always Sandy-approved.